Abs-olutely Exhausting

Fitness, Validation, and the Pressure to Be Productive

When did downtime become a crime?

When did staying in on a Friday night turn into a personal failing?

When did a day of doing absolutely nothing require an excuse?

Because somewhere along the line, rest stopped being restful and started being... suspicious.

You open Instagram and suddenly everyone’s out. Someone’s at Barry’s. Someone’s in Mykonos. Someone’s doing a sunrise hike and journaling about their growth while you’re wondering whether you should bother putting a wash on or just wear yesterday’s jeans again. (Spoiler: you do.)

It’s not just FOMO — it’s VOMO: Validation of Missing Out.

You start to feel like if you’re not doing something, you’re doing something wrong.

We’ve gamified productivity. Romanticised hustle. Branded “quiet weekends” as lazy.

And in the gay community — where self-expression is everything and visibility is tied so tightly to identity — that pressure hits even harder.

Because if you're not seen, you're not seen. And if you're not seen, do you even exist in this queer little world of curated chaos?

So we feel guilty for downtime. We apologise for rest. We post throwbacks as proof we’re still “fun.” We share “at home but vibing” selfies just to remind people we’re not dead inside, just on a break.

God forbid anyone thinks we’re bored — or worse, boring.

But maybe there’s power in doing nothing. In being still. In letting the world rush on while you take your time. In choosing yourself over a brunch you didn’t want to go to, or a class you were only taking because your ex’s new boyfriend goes.

Downtime isn’t a crime. It’s actually radical. Because what’s more rebellious than not needing to prove yourself to anyone?

→ Read Issue Seven: No Labels, No Limits, No Idea What We’re Doing